funny

The White Man’s Limbo: A Case for Sex in the Morning

Goddamn, my hips are sore; I haven’t fucked in the morning in a damn long time. Maybe that’s a good thing. I mean, since I didn’t get off, my pupils are dilated and my skin is tight from all the hormones. These Things Happen. And…

No Diplomas, Only Hugs

“You’ll have far better luck toughening yourself up than you ever will trying to take the teeth out of the world that is – at best – indifferent to you existence.” – Ryan Holiday in The Obstacle is the Way

Pura Vida: Part 2 – Where the Wild Things Are

If you haven’t read Pura Vida: Part 1 – The Winners Circle Please read that first. Enjoy! The winding and curving of the roads in Costa Rica become tiresome on the stomach, but as you move toward the center of the country, the scenery is anything but…

23-Year-Old Me Would Never Turn Down a Jager Bomb

Last night, restless and feeling like a badger stuck in a leg trap, I sought refuge from my mind under a neon tree. This neon tree is planted at a place called The Park Tavern, my local bar. The old wood paneling and smell of…

What I Didn’t Find at the Bottom of a Bottle

During the summer of 2015 dead people were everywhere. They could be found in the news, in my family and even in my dreams. It was just one of those summers where folks were starting their new lives in marriage, but others were taking their…

While Waiting For My Clothes and My Soul to Dry

My underwear, comforter and other random articles of clothing are tumbling away in a dryer downstairs and I have to wait, wait, wait like a dog for his master. I can see the Lord of this life, high up in the clouds, laugh at my…

Soburary Week 4: I Need a Drink and a Decent Ending

  I don’t like the collision of syllables within words like “wrong” or “loser” or “failure”. But yet they seem to be near impossible to avoid. As a modern American those honest words of assessment are a dirty dirty language. And they are my curse…

Soburary Week 3: My First Cigarette

The final basketball game of my high school career did not go as planned. When the final buzzer let out, so did the air in my lungs; I was desperate, crushed, and lost. My world hinged on that goddamn orange ball and that sense of…