The goddamn coffee filter folded over for the 3rd time in a row, or maybe it’s the 4th, hell, I don’t know but the irritation has left me as a ruffled peacock on an early Wednesday morning. Coffee grounds sit at the bottom of my cup like pebbles in a fish tank. At this point, I don’t believe it’s user error, probably. My morning rituals are being castrated by poor coffee maker designs. All I want to do is get my morning started with some good mojo and a cup of jo and that piece of shit Mr. Coffee coffee maker is putting my panties in a twist.I feel all alone in this situation but the same first world problem is happening all over the United States, right at this moment, from sea to shining sea. The pain and the struggle rumble on. And Donald Fucking Trump is a serious candidate for leader of the free world! His organization, full of craft swine and societal leeches, probably approved the cheap design for the Mr. Coffee, high up in the Trump Towers, as they sip on cappuccinos made from scratch by migrant workers.
And by the way, does that really seem like a goddamn good idea? You know, making the United States even more of a running joke with a President who “tells it like it is” even if the shit he says is foul? He is like that crazy racist Grandpa who rambles on about how “Great” America was and also complains about “the blacks” and grabs the cute cashiers ass because he can and he is old and he has “no idea what is going on”. Do we really need that?
Does it even matter, really? A Trump Presidency means Christ is coming soon, right? Wooo! Maybe Christ will take Trump up into the clouds and remind him he is a piece of shit, and right before they hit the pearly gates he will drop Donald 10,000 feet(that’s how far Heaven is, right?). Just don’t leave him here, Lord, please. I know he is a heathen and damned liar, but as you ascend into the clouds can you take him for that ride so we can try to right humanity down here on the ground. All of us heathens don’t want that infected rectum on this goddamn planet. Keep him up there or somewhere or at least throw him in Limbo, please. Thanks, Dude.
Well, this morning went off the rails quick-like, from coffee makers to Donald Trump – now Hillary Clinton and after that we can talk about Silverback gorillas and four-year-olds – not at length or depth, just in passing.
In a just world, if Clinton gets in office, she should have one of her aides eat her out in the Oval Office. In fact, I think that’s the only reason she is running. Revenge. Someone once said revenge is a dish best served cold and that poor White House aide may know soon enough!
Also, in a just world, that little kid who invaded a large, aggressive primate’s cage should have been the one shot. But that can’t happen. We can’t let humans take second place to decency even when we are the ones that manufactured the situation. And that’s also the reason why Donald Trump is a few steps from running the free world.
Ah, yes, first world tragedies are lined up like bottles on a fence – let the pot shots and hurt feelings begin – shattered glass everywhere, weeping and gnashing of teeth. Welcome to the United States of America. Now, on to filing a complaint with Mr. Coffee, and hoping for a Happy Wednesday.